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23 January 2019 @ 02:32 pm
[Drabble] Embrace The Pain, We're Going Down Pt.3  
Title: Embrace The Pain, We're Going Down Pt.3
Fandoms: Shiritsu Bakaleya Koukou/Kamen Teacher
Pairing: Tango Daiki/Bon (Watanabe Shota/Kyomoto Taiga)
Genre: Noncon (not in this part), Angst
Summary: How far can your obsession take you? How fast can everything explode?
Notes: Continuation of PART 1 and PART 2 (written by su_jin )

Embrace The Pain, We’re Going Down Pt.3

Bon is broken. Bon is humiliated. Bon is confused.

And yet he still can’t help his legs, can’t help how they bring him out of that door again, can’t help the hand that rings the doorbell. A week has passed since the last time he saw him, the last time he was screwed around by him, the last time he called him a coward. A week, during which Bon thought he would be able to sort his thoughts out. Stand on his own feet. But he can’t.

The door is opened by a woman who Bon supposes is Daiki’s mother, and she leads him to the boy’s room, where Bon can already hear loud music coming from. The woman has to knock at least three times, and by the time Daiki does open the door, he seems enraged that someone dared interrupt him during his “doing nothing” time. But then his face freezes once his eyes notice Bon, and Bon’s head is already ready to break from the tension and the deafening music.

He slips inside, Daiki locking the door closed behind him, and then he kills the music, somehow avoiding Bon’s face now. The silence that follows once the notes are out is even harder to bear, and Bon clenches his fists, decides to swallow the lump in his throat down. He’s not gonna cry this time, no, not before he gets an explanation at least.

“Why me?” he asks, finds comfort and relief in the fact that his voice is steadier than he was hoping it would be. “Why?”

Daiki’s eyes flicker to him, before he leans back to his desk. “You shouldn’t have come.”

“Why me?” Bon repeats, tries his best to keep his voice down. “What is it about me? My money?”

“No, you idiot.” Daiki snorts, then shakes his head again, runs his fingers through his hair. “You should really go, I’ve already done enough.”

“Just answer me!” Bon insists, walks up to him with a weird, twisted kind of courage, grabs him by the collar until their noses are almost touching. Daiki reacts immediately, probably used to such moves from the street fights, and he wraps his fingers around Bon’s wrists, his grip so tight that Bon loses his courage immediately, falls back into that miserable hole of despair.

Daiki leans in to kiss him, but halts before their lips can touch. He’s shaking, Bon can feel that much, can’t tell if he’s trying to hold himself back from attacking him again or if he’s trying to form words. He doesn’t let go of his clothes, keeps staring at him, lips half-parted, drawing shaky breaths in.

“Because you remind me of someone I can’t have. But I can have you, you’re easy to handle, that’s why I chose you.” He hisses, clutches Bon’s wrists tighter. “Are you satisfied now?”

Is he? Bon feels it exploding through him, the sorrow, the agony, the disappointment. He had been hoping, that it was something genuine, something raw that could turn into something else. Now he feels pathetic, cheated, an ant on the ground. His eyes are already burning, demanding to release tears. But he can’t do it, right? He can’t show how weak he is again…

Daiki pushes him back violently. “Just go already.” He growls through gritted teeth, and Bon knows that he should do just that, walk away, never look back. He doesn’t deserve this, doesn’t deserve to be treated like this when it’s not even him Daiki actually wants. Who would want to go through that pain?

But even like this, Daiki has offered him attention, has made him feel like he matters to someone…

“What if I stay?” he asks, voice cracking now, and Daiki looks at him in disbelief, can’t quite swallow what he has been asked. “You’ll be happy if I stay, right?”

“Are you really so stupid?”

“I don’t wanna go.” Bon lets out weakly, eliminates the space between them again, tugs on Daiki’s sleeve. “I’ll be who you want me to be, just don’t tell me to go…”

“Why would you wanna stay?” Daiki asks again, and his voice is shaking with rage and self-hatred, hands already into Bon’s hair. “Why do you wanna suffer? I’m giving you the chance to walk away, just take it!”

“I don’t wanna take it!” Bon protests, throws arms around his neck, would glue himself on Daiki if he could. “I’m telling you I’ll be who you want me to be, why don’t you wanna take that chance?”

“What do you have to gain out of this?”

I won’t feel alone anymore.

He doesn’t say it, only clings onto Daiki desperately, onto the pain he’s offering him, because pain is still better than not feeling anything. It’s better to go down with company, better to have someone that needs him, even if it’s only for his looks. Better than feeling like he doesn’t belong anywhere…

Arms wrap around him, and he feels it in Daiki, too, how desperate he is to reach for what he can’t have. Fingers touch his face, mouth chases his, and they stumble, fall down onto the bed, peeling their clothes off each other until their ugly sides are exposed, until their monsters and their demons embrace each other, ready for another journey of pain.

Current Music: Jacob Lee - Oceans
thesecretdoorthesecretdoor on January 23rd, 2019 04:26 pm (UTC)
Whhhhaaaaaaaaaaa!!! This is exactly what I wanted, no needed T_T Bon finding out that this isn't even about him, and still wanting it anyway T_T

And this part - “I’m telling you I’ll be who you want me to be, why don’t you wanna take that chance?”

I'm both heart-broken and excited.

There had better be more of this in the pipeline!! I am ready for this journey of pain!
chained_akame: MS Mayachained_akame on January 23rd, 2019 05:53 pm (UTC)
Since this is still the beginning, it was easier for Daiki to tell the truth to Bon^^ If it was later, feeling would have already developed, and it would have been harder...

But yes, Bon just wants to keep him close, even if it hurts him, so even now that he knows the truth, he can't stay away.

There will definitely be more of this, I'm all about pain ;)
miss zerodusk037 on January 24th, 2019 08:27 am (UTC)
You break me so, so badly T___T but it's so beautiful. I love you. T___T <3
chained_akame: MS Mayachained_akame on January 24th, 2019 10:25 pm (UTC)
it's my pleasure to break you every time^^ Glad you read it <3
su_jinsu_jin on January 25th, 2019 01:44 am (UTC)
This is so perfect and so satisfying, I can't think of a better way this could have gone down. *_*

I love Bon's struggle; not wanting to show his weak side again, not wanting to be the manipulated and teary-eyed wimp he hates being.

'“No, you idiot.” Daiki snorts, then shakes his head again, runs his fingers through his hair. “You should really go, I’ve already done enough.”' <-- I love this bit! Bon needs to hear it's not about his money! And that Daiki has a hint of guilt~~

Ahhh the last paragraph was so poetic <33 I love you! I love your writing! <3333